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I am like the Pacific Ocean–the calm and yet not so calm ocean.  My feelings and emotions always come so strong and intense that even I don’t really understand them myself.  They always come with a sense of immediacy and urgency as well, as if every day is the last day of all existence.  Pacific literally means peaceful and calm, yet there are so much activities in the ocean basin, they are threatening to rip the west coast into pieces.  And that is how I am sometimes, composed and quiet on the outside, but boiling and troubled inside.  As I become more aware of these patterns, I begin to wonder if this is a phase? Is it all parts of maturing? Do I need to learn to completely tame this Ocean of mine? How do I strike a balance between these unique feelings and while maintaining an ability to concentrate and refocus?  And how would I tame this ocean? It is like the seismologists trying to predict the big earthquake in the west coast…”it will happen in the next 10 years, +/- 10 years.”  I am not saying my feelings are not predictable, but they can’t be easily quantified, identified, and solved.  Practicing mindfulness and mediation are ways I can start approaching this.  But it is very difficult for me these days, because I am just starting to do this, I am barely learning how to breathe, breathe mindfully.  I am a bit frustrated with myself because I feel like I am being a bit immature, still behaving like a child/teenager, so easily excitable.  But at the same time, it is a little bit of my nature.  And I want to always be slightly naive and pessimistically optimistic.